Month: October 2021

Rail Road

October 17, 2021

life’s a dark rail road
some days we are watching
from i inside the train
while building,trees,tall grass
the comfort of your seat,
the rythm of passing trains
the core is always
to find peace
but then on other days
you are lying face up between rail
when the train is passing above you

Dark and afraid
coping with the anxiety
of not able to get out
anything but peace in mind

I posted this one but yet not polished piece.This is one my fever dreams.Somedays anxiety is hard.

PS:there are 100billion galaxies across the universe as milkyway and the problems we have are silly to nothing.

Wisdom to impart

October 13, 2021

I would like to part some wisdom today:Not because I want to but because I am going through some writers-readers block and am currently living on YouTube.
So the thing I want to say is that we all are afraid to start something new or grab that opportunity because we are afraid.
our fears mostly comes under some of these reasons more or less:

1.What if they find out you are actually not good at it?
2.what if I cant learn it on time?
3.What of I dont deserve the outcome?

4.How will I actually do it?
and on and on and on.

so to those thoughts I want to say, you dont come to this world knowing anything.You just learn and live on the way.


so why stop in between and stunt your growth when you clearly want to take that leap.

thats all.
you didn’t know to speak a language when you were born,so whats the big deal if you want to know to plan a trip.You will learn when you start.
dont have to stand aside just because you dont know how .

PS: Works been repetitive and boring.Somedays you have to do since ot pays.Okay guys bye.

The face you see. #repost

October 10, 2021

The way I see myself
Is not the way others see me
Its all the lies I speak
All the fake facades I show on to the outside .

Whom do you think I am
A somebody who is not better than you
Or else you would be jealous
Similar to when I see someone better than me

Then I put makeup on my emotions
Smearing a layer of think coating on every little hinged, bruised and bump on my soul
And become even more of a unreal person
Who knows me  now,
I better start telling the truth
Or else even I may forget me.

—— nothing to do with evolving and everything to do with being comfortable under the blanket of fakeness

This is one of the pieces I wrote which I like and I am out of creativity hence something from my collection.

PS: Also I finished watching What If? on Disney today. It was not that promising at first I hated it first like ‘what is the whole point ‘ kind of situation. But it all makes sense at the end. So out of a 10 it a solid 7.5 for story and out of 10 a solid 11 for art.

Far away for a reason

October 6, 2021

‘later would you come to see me?’
yet I dont want to impose
its that my pet is sick
and she might pass on
but I will call you after
maybe,someday,not at all
neither of us did for a fact.
I wont look back from the hall way
you were important for that part of my life
but not anymore
10years later,I wont regret not speaking to you again
even though I remember my pet every time I think about you or the other way around.
compartmentalization is a weird concept,
somebody so significant and then you.


——-that best friend you never talked to again.

Some people we grow apart.It might be a fight long distance or just pure hate.But still we all have some people in our lives we used to care about and then not at all anymore.

PS:I told you guys about a test last week that I was taking,well I failed actually and guess what it was my license test.So It’s not like I didn’t prepare or anything 3 days a week for past 4 months and then before that during last year on and off due to covid lockdowns.But tough luck.maybe next time.

Life Update : 03.08.2021

October 3, 2021

so I am not doing good mentally.Its a lot of self hate and comparison and everything going on in there.Also mixing professional impediments with personal-actual real life emotions which is not a good idea but still can’t stop myself.What can a girl do.So had to uninstall instagram and since tiktok is banned in our country that is not there.It just gave me a lot of anxiety and kind of addicted to it,watching every other minute what is happening with people’s lives.

also I want to be happy about myself and forget what every one thinks but in reality its just what I feel about myself.You cant do anything when you hate yourself.
I feel bad and sad and depressed but still I feel its going to be okay.Its just the mind,One phase its all gloomy and the next its always sunshines and moonlights.so dont feel bad for me or anything its just how life is and I want something positive to happen in life.Thats all.

PS:I have a test tomorrow and its really important,if I pass will let you know what it was about.Okay byeee..see you Wednesday reader.