Change is Inevitable.

Change is Inevitable.

First i would like to tell you as a person i hate change and it seems really stupid.I have this split personality where i want to travel and explore ,at the same time want to be in my safe zone where i would read and write and think.But often in a tug of war to prioritize which to choose between the two.

This year was roller coaster with a lot of “Events” and Changes .To start with i graduated from college early this year The inevitable change  , then i had to weigh my options to find a start with my career which lead me to Bangalore(the IT capital of India) which only lasted a week and half,when i found myself in the train to “City of Pearls”(Hyderabad).

At first i had a hard time coping up with everything as the food,the language (Telugu) and the culture difference was huge.It was not a piece of cake juggling my new life with reading and working and making myself home in this new city.I found new friends but the language barrier were huge and sometimes i felt left alone with my own thoughts.Its been only three months here that and to my own amazement i started to like this new life of mine.

But nothing lasts for ever and now we are relocating to Bangalore again.This just fell like a dismay and now i am feeling very stressed to move again.The change just feels like inescapable, and utterly devastating and i am not having a good mind whenever i am thinking of packing again.

It is a total chaos all together, this is mine to enjoy and worry and cry over when i am tired.Just being a total lunatic i am enjoying my life now and feel very alive,although I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE.

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Whole shelves of bangles in a pearl shop
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Evening view

 

 

Now to my knowledge on change ,many of us know it already and some of us even though does not believe in destiny ,but as a person who believes in time i do believe we do not have a choice of our own to do things.This flow of life even though we try to fight it, it eventually take us where ever we are meant to be.As shallow as it seems with this short period of time i came to know how hard it is to change your plans and be in a place where you never thought to be in.

“One whole lifetime will give you enough surprises that you wont find death a surprising one as it seems”.

These surprises never stops,whether you want it or not,the roads ahead will take sharp turns,and you cant do anything other than to sit tight and travel through.

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Street Vendors with perfume in Hyderabad.

 

 

 

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Harry Potter for the first time again.

Harry Potter for the first time again.

My life was never the same after i have known Harry Potter series from early September of 2007 when  we were shown the 4th of harry potter movie “The Goblet of Fire” in school film festival day.To state the Obvious before that day i have never known about Harry Potter or J.K Rowling and did not understand a thing what the movie showed .But when i went home that day all i could think of was to see a boy fighting dragon and going underwater to save his friends.And thence i became a potter head

After that day all i did was finding DVD’s to watch the all the movies and not once but a thousand times.Several Years later when we got internet Connection at home my first google search was “Harry Potter”, guilty as charged.The thing is once you know about harry potter you cant ‘unknow’ it. As tens of millions of people became potter heads i also drifted to become one.1480508469-harry-potter-in-90-minutes-1480436463

This does no mean i have read the books, not until last month and i have a specific and legitimate reason for this.  Even though a major part of my life was about wondering whether Hogwarts is real or not,starting to read them were a major step i have took because believe it or not i had this huge  belief that these books were the portal to go into the magical world as believable as floo powder and port keys,but after all me believing it, would not make it true.

Currently i am reading the 5th book”The Order of Phoenix”,the pace is very slow as i am not having the mind to complete the books.It is because if i complete reading all the books , i will be having a fulfilled feeling which will lead into a very big void,like i am out of the inner circle and cant go in since i have completed it,which was exactly how i felt when i have completed watching the whole movie franchise.

Reading Harry Potter was never in my immediate plans,maybe sometime in the future but who are we to decide when a book want us to read it.It may sound very stupid but occasionally even though how hard i try to read a book it wont let me read it,in other words a ‘readers block’ even if i kept on reading it i wont have that fulfilled feeling when i complete it.Hence every book has its own time and now is the time for Harry Potter how hard i try to deny it.

The books are very enlightening and i can now understand that the harry potter i have known before is different as the medium changed. While reading i am getting clarity on many things i did not had albeit me watching the movies for the millionth time.And this is the first time i am reading some work after watching the movies and from my research i found that the movies had done a good justice to the books,and cant complaint the fact that some important characters where eliminated during the process.

My all time favorite character while watching the movies where Severus Snape  played by late.Alan Rickman and i did doubt him at “THE” time but as every potter head i also cried tons during the last movie.

But in the book its Dumbledore because the power he gives while reading is not exactly their while watching the movie and just to indicate books are not really harry-centric and without movie many of the things portrayed in books cannot be visioned,even though it could be said the other way too.

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The concept of Harry Potter never ceased to amaze me and this new beginning to new  informations shows only one thing that you cant know everything at anytime and search until you are done.The platform nine and three quarters and the house elf’s who talks and the broom sticks that fly and the pensive and the priori incantatem were even though was just the writers imagination but it had the power to hope that this is not it and somewhere there could be a magical land were possibilities were endless.

 

P.S:  The Bertie Bott’s every flavor beans even though is made in real world it is not the real one’s from the cart from Hogwarts express, it is a replica of the magical ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Uncomfortable Talk.

That Uncomfortable Talk.

She wakes up a little discomposed these days.Never have she felt so irritated with anything else that having to wake up the morning with the windows open as the construction site workers make a noises as ever and the early school buses honking while waiting for children.This is  because of her new room mate who leaves early for work with the windows open.

The conversation she had with her room mate last night has gone to dustbin again.It cant be called a conversation as the person who was talking is not at all her,even though the small suggestion she made in between the roommate’s rants had gone unnoticed as it seems.

She thoroughly remember the first time she saw this girl one evening 2 months ago as she was introduced by the landlady.She politely introduced herself even though the other girl was so  absorbed in a call and most probably did not heard her name at all and she still believe that the name is unknown to her.Once she cut the call she started talking to her like she was her best friend  for years and till date she hasn’t stopped talking to listen to her once.

Since she cant share the whole rent on her own she has to adjust with the girl till she do not know when,often she wont directly comes back to the room right after office but prefer to go up to the roof of her building and stand looking the view for hours.

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She herself is new to the city and does not have much friends herself seems to have some quite time at these hours.The fact that she is not at all good at socializing is not an added advantage to the situation as well.

In these long hours she would think ,She does not have that courage to stand up for her comfortability just because she hate to be hated by a person whom she hate the most.This could be over just in a minute and she could have peace .She just runs out on her problems.It would not happen for long.

But that day for fifty third time as she went down to confront her room mate so that she could have peaceful mornings, as she opened the door.

All that she said was ‘hi’.

 

 

 

 

 

10.Another voodoo movement.

10.Another voodoo movement.

From one of my last post you would’ve learned about my cursed year.This story is very similar to that one because i am not able to explain it yet.

Before starting my story ,i would like to inform that i am a food intolerant person.I cant eat certain food items which does include any soft drinks like pespsi,coke etc.(yes! I miss them but i am not allowed).Its more that 4 years since i stopped.

And at times i do get problems just by eating random food items.

So i am that person who have to check food items just by tasting it,before eating.

The repercussions include severe stomach aches,cramping etc.It get worse by time.

So in this incident i accidently/unknowingly ate someting i should’nt have ate.This got me very hardly.I had a difficult time coping this time because i became restless.I couldnt sit or stand or lie down. I was wayward in all ways.I was causing a immense scene and my was family panicking big time.

‘I wanted to go to hospital.’

so you will be thinking ‘yeah!! In such cases everone will prefer that basic option.

‘oh!!no ..no.. !!not me’

‘Why?’.

It is a story for another time but just remember that i hate hospitals ..i loathe them.. and the only reason i picked computer and not biology in high school is for the same reason only.

The point i am making is that me and hospital never will be friends if he was in my class.

So when i say i want to go to hospital it would be like when i feel i am dying.And for that instance i surely felt that way “This is it,This is how i will die”.

So my mother was at home , she suddenly got me in the car and rushed me to the hospital.

So i will tell you this ,it was a warm evening and the sun was setting.But i was shivering like anything.In my part of country ,you wont shiver ever.So it was different .

the hospital is around 10 min away from my home and i was suffering over an hour with this after effects of my food intolerence.I even took some medicines inbetween this time gap.

But the game changer is,once the hospital came to my view my stomach aches and crampings were gone.pooof..!! Just like that and when i reached the doctors consulting room ,everything was back to normal.For once in my life i wanted that suffering back because the embarrasment that came after ,was killing me.I wanted to run away.

My mom was actually happy that her daughter was alright but me on the other hand was explaining to her that it was real , the pain.Even if it was real , it was not real anymore.

I couldnt explain that mysyry yet but mu theory has a major share which depends on God and the remaining theory is that i was that afraid to get to a hospital that my body automatically turned off my distress.But a small theory still believes that some voodoo or black magic happened which caused such an outcome.

Ps: i am not a very often hospital visitor because my mom says if you start going you never stop.And i do too believe it in a small way because i survived this much without a hospital.

Pps:I am definitly not advicing you the same.

9.The subtle art of not giving a f*ck

9.The subtle art of not giving a f*ck

Since i have been going through the things in my life , why not a book review.

Books has always been in my life.Its like i cant remember when i started reading but i remember some of the momental book i had .Its like in every era of my history i would atleast have one book that i remember.

From narnia to famous 5 to God of small things,even include Nancy Drew, sherlock holmes and other regional books i have read.I still remember my first library card and losing it ,killed me.

Thats some excerpt from me and my book history.The funny part is i thought everybody feels the same about books and reading.

Its like i was the happiest girl when library period came(which is once in a week).Many girls and boys liked library only because they thought its a free period.But for me i would kill for.

So later on in my life i realised that i was born to read.And why not? /How can you not?.This book i read reasonly is such a gem.I was planning to read this book from last year.The thing is i dont know you ever notice this or happened to you,whenever the book wants me to read it,only then i can read it.Otherwise albeit me starting to read it ,also wont help me to continue.So this is one such book.

The subtle art of not giving a f*uck is written by Mark Manson.The book was published in 2016.

In the cover its written”A counterintuitive approach to living a good life”. True.True.True.

This book is for anyone who is looking for some relief in this heartbreaking,suffocating life.It wont give you any solutions for that matter but it points you what the real problems we should focus on.

You will be forced to reconsider every aspect in your life.

I have only read a few of non fictional books like yes!please by Amy Pohler and Not that kind of girl by Lena Dunham.So these books are inspirational and life changing.But!!But!! This book had shaken every bone and nerves,i am even doubting my existence.(it might be because right after reading every book has some kind of impact on me,but this has a different kind of impact).

So if you havent read it ,you should definitly.Else also you will survive,So no problem.

And one more thing even though you find it interesting from first ,dont finish it in one go.Just read it like a capsule and let each concept sink in.For every non fiction we should follow the rule.

8.why i am still single?

8.why i am still single?

This may or may not shock you(based on where you are from) but i will say as a 22 year old i was not in a relationship ever ,never kissed someone too.

So why? It is quite a normal story.

We all have crushes.I also had crushes in school.

But the irony of the situation is whoever i liked(they will be single at that time) ,2 things would definitly happen in no more than 3 months.

1.They would certainly get in a relationship right after.

2.Else they would approach me to set their crush up.(toodledoo)

Of course i was a duff, so my love life never cherished.Often as every highschool teenager out of 365 my heart was broken around maybe 300.And rest of 65 days i would be crushing over my crush(shrugs).

This continued until the end of school.After that my singlehood started to be comfortable.I was okay in being single and my expectations rised.Now its really getting to me that i haven’t been in a relationship.

In college also,nothing worked out.Since, here i am single as ever.

A four years ago it was all good..but now feeling weighed.But you know what wait it out,and see what it comes out.I put up this blog because i am still alive ,happy and content.Eventually anything can happen.Maybe you can find that so called prince charming with quiet happily ever after.

Bye .

7.Disappointments.

7.Disappointments.

I do not trust people,

Because its not worth it;

The broken trust hurts more.

I dont plan things,

Not small , not big,

Because it never comes true.

Broken hopes,Broken ……

Fairy tales ,

Happy to go healthy life,

likely to be a myth.

Nicely created images,

Will potrait that facade.

The false facade.

I hope someday

We only say the truth,

The ugly, unhealthy truth,

About life.

Dont teach to pretend,

The broken heart will be

Joined back.

Everything remains same.

Lesser mistakes we make.

But disappointments ,guilt

Are our second self.

The one who always keeps you awake.

What is life?

With less disappointments,

Less battle scars you have.