Month: June 2021

One hopeless poem

June 30, 2021

forever I am drowning
mastering the mighty feeling of being sad
is it all this world is all about
to freely roam but no actual freedom to hold
forever running from one point to another
like a ‘ one ‘person relay but the baton keeps changing
until we cant run anymore.
some just run the long run
some find it tiring and stops halfway
Like how I look into the eye of a stranger
and say the truth’,
thats not going to happen
and thats the the way life is
just harder to live,harder to stay.

It’s really hard to stay positive now so I thought f*ck it..I will stay negative and be content.

PS:Not sad,just really hopeless…Somedays like this.If you like sad poetry you can find more on my page.

Being 24 was like

June 27, 2021

Saturday 26 June 2021

I am writting this one because i think if one day after today ,one day after 1 year or many years i can come back and read this ,so here it is….

being 24 ,being 24 was fun it started with a birthday in quarantine and it was with my sister whom i share my birthday with,so we both turned 24 and we were sad that we did not get to see our family in nearly 4 months.We were just hanging around at our pg just drinking cartons of frooty(dont know what it is ?its a softdrink) and office was a mess,work was a mess,mind was a mess, but life and routine was organised at that point of time.

but weeks later we flew home,my first flight.
it was stress ful being 24 you are not a child anymore,still felt quesy,I was stressed with a prospect of arranged marriage which got me engaged (i was so stupid) and it didn’t end up in a marriage.so that happened and then the wedding is cancelled and I am happyyy…

I grew into and out of shape within this past year. 2020 was a weird year with lots of tiktok watching until it got banned in India,and lot of self caring and months later not caring for anything at all.see it was fine for sometime and then opposite for some reason.

Right now I am with my amma and my ammama(mom and grandmother),I am happy to be spending time with them even though work takes up most of it.I am currently reading 3 books simultaneously :
1.shadow and bone,2.second sex and 3.Kitchen by banana yoshimoto

i went to pondicherry and gokarana,2 places almost same with beaches some travelling during the relaxed restrictions which were okay trips.a lot of drama you see.but i do have some memories to cherish.this was right after the engagement so i was most definitely at my lowest.It was pathetic at one point to think it will all be alright.everything was going to be fine.
But then right now when I am writting this,which is the say before I turned 25,its alright,like at this moment,I am fine.
so being 24 is like:
you know being scared yet trying to be strong,self sufficient,but freaking out for getting older that is what 24 was for me.maybe if Pandemic was not here things would have been different but then we never know.
I started buying book paperbacks. these days with being at home not having much spending I am buying books now,and thanks to pandemic again ,i started drawing .Also I got a new book shelf.

at some point though felt so horrible and disheartened that I stopped writing which was also scary.
So it was altogether a scary year.I hope 25 is better but then its just me right,all we feel is the culmination of our thoughts.And still trying to figure out how to live life since I think no one really knows,will just eyeball it.

its still not,i hope when the future me is reading this things are better,pandemic wise.

PS:Today I turned 25.

Death is another word for living

June 23, 2021

do we see the life passing by
the youth is wasted on the young
but now the young and old are wasted
by just filling stuff in our lives with
just nothing
i wake up these days not knowing
if its monday or sunday
everyday looks the same

walking like zombies
distressed for the deaths and despair by trying hard to not think about death and despair
but why now?
Death was here way longer.


its that somewhere along last year and half
we understood we are not going to be fine anymore.
we started seeing our faces in dead
Death is another word for living these days.


——in the line of fire

It’s all dark and gloomy and passing like a blur ,and this is what I feel and think how everyone is feeling

Hope one day we can be happy to stay at home and not because of a pandemic

PS:I got my shadow and born series books delivered today since I have ordered it in may 2 it took almost 2 months to be delivered.I have done a book haul in and some in June.

Book Review: Truly Devious Trilology by Maureen Johnson

June 20, 2021

Truly devious trilology is a double murder/kidnapping mystery with parallel stories from both 1930 and now.


Stevie bell a 16 year old crime buff who studies crimes and tries to solve them, wants to solve the crime of the century comes to elingham academy.


Ellingham academy is where the kidnapping of Iris Ellingham and Alice Ellingham happened years ago,wife and daughter of the one of the richest man in the country Albert Ellingham and Dottie Epstein a kid from school goes missing as well.It all seems scattered piesces until it all comes together to make sense

Even though she is a budding detective she questions the intensions of why an elite school such as Ellingham academy would admit her in the midst of  students who are best in the fields.But during the academic year it’s not just the cold case she has to solve but new murder / accident death of her fellow classmate and more.

This book has a memorable sensory experience written in a compelling way,you as reader has to feel the warm autumn evening,or the smell of tunnels.

Book 1: Truly Devious—-⭐⭐⭐⭐

Book 2:The Vanishing Stairs—–⭐⭐⭐.5

Book 3:The clock on the wall—-⭐⭐⭐.5

Pros:
1.In this series the author has created a well constructed now and then chapters which will keep is in toes with clues to solve the cases.
2.Rather than just showing the protagonist,Stevie bell is the only one having all the problems in the world on her small shoulders and the only one struggling,most of the characters has given with an elaborate story and issues they themselves face which was a delight to read.
3.Mental health and it’s aspects on a teenager who is likely suffering was rather relatable.
4.Tribute to Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot my brilliant heroes.

Cons:
1.Murder mystery…yes so Obviously I couldn’t solve it.I solved the first part but not the second.


2.End was rather a meh!!maybe not for you if you have been rooting for the wrong murderer.

3.The second backstory could have been an elaborate one in my opinion with some other reason as it felt like the buildup was giving the reader a bigger expectation and the conclusion did not reach that high bar.

Light read on a quick June week.

PS:I have been gone long because I was struggling with my mental health due to covid situation.I did not feel encouraged or inspired to write.I will try to post every Wednesday and Sunday from now on.